


#captainamerica

by lumbercapt



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, clint cant type coherently, kate is the only one who can use hashtags right, natasha uses excessive emojis, steve gets twitter, tonys a shit, twitter au, when u read clint think v4 not mcu because reasons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5063389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumbercapt/pseuds/lumbercapt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which steve slowly learns that its okay not to capitalize the first word of your sentence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> there will definitely be more of this garbage, don't worry

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Hello Twitter! Pleased to meet you.  
*367 Retweets *6,837 Favourites

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Many thanks to my friend Tony Stark for setting up this Twitter for me.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I’ve been informed that the correct way to mention someone over Twitter is to put and “@” before their name. Thank you @Anthony Stark.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Thank you @anthonystark.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Thank you @iamironman

*@IAMIRONMAN followed @stevenrogers

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevengrogers finally got it right didnt you big guy

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I would like to formally withdraw my thanks to my former friend Tony Stark for not showing me how to use Twitter and then making fun of me f

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I would like to formally withdraw my thanks to my former friend Tony Stark for not showing me how to use Twitter and then making fun of me f  
*1 Favourite: @IAMIRONMAN

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers you used too many letters cap. sorry for “making fun of you f”

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I would like to formally withdraw my thanks to my former friend Tony Stark for not showing me how to use Twitter and then making fun of me f

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers your tweet isnt getting any shorter just because youre posting it too many times but its cute how hard youre trying

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I would like to formally withdraw my thanks to Tony Stark for not showing me how to use Twitter and then making fun of me for it.

-

*@falconPUNCH, @hawkguy, @actualhawkeye, @dablackwidow, @doctorgreen followed @stevenrogers

@falconPUNCH | sam the man  
@stevenrogers congrats on joining twitter man! welcome to the party #captainamerica #capontwitter #modernman

@hawkguy | the better hawkeye  
@stevenrogers dosethis mean i cant swear on here anyomre

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@falconpunch Thank you Sam.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@hawkguy If anyone is going to make you respectable it will probably be Miss Bishop.  
*1 Favourite: @actualhawkeye *1 Retweet: @actualhawkeye

@actualhawkeye | the better hawkeye  
@hawkguy B) did you see that? nbd just a truthbomb from cap himself B)))

@hawkguy | the better hawkeye  
@actualhawkeye hushc hild

@dablackwidow | черная вдова  
@stevenrogers :>)

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@dablackwidow What are those.  
*1923 Favourites: @IAMIRONMAN, @falconPUNCH, @hawkguy, and more

*@stevenrogers followed @dablackwidow, @falconPUNCH, @hawkguy, @actualhawkeye

@dablackwidow | черная вдова  
@stevenrogers en.wikipedia.org/wiki/emoticon en.wikipedia.org/wiki/emoji

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@dablackwidow Thank you for the information Natasha. : - )

@doctorgreen | Bruce Banner, PhD.  
@stevenrogers If you need any help with twitter or other internet stuff, feel free to ask me before Tony. Welcome to twitter.

*@IAMIRONMAN unfollowed @doctorgreen

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Thank you Bruce. I like your Twitter name. @doctorgreen

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers @doctorgreen yeah banner its almost as imaginative as steves

@doctorgreen | Bruce Banner, PhD.  
@stevenrogers Anytime, Steve. Thanks:)

@realJARVIS | Just A Rather Very Intelligent System  
@stevenrogers Greetings, Captain Rogers.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@realJARVIS I didn’t know you could have Twitter. Hello Jarvis.

@realJARVIS | Just A Rather Very Interlligent System  
@stevenrogers Indeed I can, Captain Rogers.

-

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers steve follow me already

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@IAMIRONMAN No

@hawkguy | the better hawkeye  
@iamironman @stevenrogers would yoau look at that i lvoe infigting

@dablackwidow | черная вдова  
@hawkguy :/

@hawkguy | the better hawkeye  
@dablackwidow do’nt lookat me like that its funny

@dablackwidow | черная вдова  
@hawkguy :\

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers steve follow me. do it for freedom

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@IAMIRONMAN No

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers think of the baby eagles 

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@IAMIRONMAN No

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers they said u were stubborn. last warning

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers okay cap you forced me to do this. its ur own fault

*@stevenrogers followed @IAMIRONMAN

*@stevenrogers unfollowed @IAMIRONMAN

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I did not do that.

*@stevenrogers followed @IAMIRONMAN

*@stevenrogers unfollowed @IAMIRONMAN

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@IAMIRONMAN Tony is this you.

*@stevenrogers followed @IAMIRONMAN

*@stevenrogers unfollowed @IAMIRONMAN

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@IAMIRONMAN Tony stop it.

*@stevenrogers followed @IAMIRONMAN

*@stevenrogers unfollowed @IAMIRONMAN

*@stevenrogers followed @IAMIRONMAN

*@stevenrogers unfollowed @IAMIRONMAN*

@stevenrogers followed @IAMIRONMAN

*@stevenrogers unfollowed @IAMIRONMAN

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@realJARVIS Jarvis make Tony stop.

@jarvish  
@stevenrogers At once, Captain Rogers.

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers thats low. @realjarvis i swear i built u better than this stop conspiring

@IAMIRONMAN unfollowed @stevenrogers

*@IAMIRONMAN unfollowed @realJARVIS

@realJARVIS | Just A Rather Very Intelligent System  
@IAMIRONMAN Sir, if I may, you are soon going to run out of friends to unfollow.

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@realjarvis me, run out of friends. ha

*@IAMIRONMAN followed @realJARVIS, @stevenrogers, @doctorgreen

-

*@SHIELD, @directoreyepatch, @POTUS and 10 289 others followed @stevenrogers


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter the second  
> i tried updating this once before and had issues with the formatting and half the chapter just not appearing but im trying again. anyways sorry if youre reading it and its suddenly not there lmao

@nytimes | The New York Times  
#CaptainAmerica joins the modern world on Twitter! Welcome @stevenrogers. Read more here: bit.ly/616 #capontwitter

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@nytimes Thank you from a long time reader.

*Trending: #capontwitter, #captainamerica

-

@ambileak | its cate bitches  
@stevenrogers Whats youre favorite future thing ??

@ismasque | d’awwww  
@stevenrogers who is this captain america si dead

@prophyrt | pro photographer Preston James  
@stevenrogers Would you consider doing a shoot with me? I have a lot of really patriotic ideas I bet you’d love!

-

*@pepperpotts, @StarkIndustries and 378 more followed @stevenrogers

@pepperpotts | CEO Stark Industries  
On behalf of Stark Industries I would like to help welcome my personal friend Captain America to Twitter! Hey, Steve. @stevenrogers

*@stevenrogers followed @pepperpotts

@stevenrogers  
@pepperpotts Hi Pepper. Thank you for the welcome. How is business?

@pepperpotts | CEO Stark Industries  
@stevenrogers Business is good :)

-

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I feel very well received, thank you to my friends and everyone who has welcomed me to Twitter over the past couple of days. It’s been fun.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I am still not sure what this is for though.

-

@lilbri | (o(^∀^*)o o(^∀^*)o  
@stevenrogers come to brazil

@starksbitch | gay baby  
TWEET ME BACK @STEVENROGERS

@linkfrik | andrew b.  
@STEVENROGERS WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE MOON LANDING CONSPIRACY #COVERUP #CAPTAINAMERICA #THEGOVTLIES

@moustache | fuck on  
@stevenrogers post cat videos? #capontwitter

@uniquemonique | Monique Waters  
@stevenrogers do you know what memes are yet? please say yes.

-

*@stevenrogers followed @Nasa, @curiosityrover

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Wow, we’ve not only been to the moon but we’re trying to go to Mars! That’s amazing.

@nasa | NASA  
@stevenrogers It is pretty amazing! Would you like to come see what we’re working on right now? Our Goddard Flight Center is right in DC!

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@nasa That would be swell! You’ll have to be patient with me though, my education is a little out of date.

@nasa | NASA  
@stevenrogers Awesome! We look forward to having you. DM us so we can arrange the details :)

-

@chocontime | jackie stenson  
@stevenrogers r u gonna b an astronaut?!?!?

@melissssa | mel sihota  
@stevenrogers you’re welcome to relax in my apartment any time you want ;)

@dtgfarmy | when what where  
@stevenroges you fucking suck go back to the stone age

-

@kikandbrandy | Brody Kirkpatrick  
@stevenrogers do you hate germans ?

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@kirabobrandy No. One of the scientists that engineered and gave me the serum was German. He was a good man.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@kirabobrandy One of the things he told me to remember was that the first country that the Nazis invaded was their own.

@nytimes | The New York Times  
Captain America defends German people; remembers Project Rebirth scientist and Nazi defector Dr. Abraham Erskine. Read more here: bit.ly/617

-

@hunteridie | will trade memes 4 food  
@stevenrogers u should see the smithsonean exhibit on u!! its neat

@culrlsbox | Dale  
@stevenrogers Means a lot that you’re back with us man! #capontwitter

@66vont8pp | Bro Von Trapp  
@stevenrogers did you really fuck peggy carter shes kinda old and gross man wtf

@themodmo | theo lesse  
@stevenrogers tell us something interesting we dont about you? #capontwitter

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@themodmo I jump out of planes without a parachute on the semi-regular.

@themodmo | theo lesse  
@STEVENROGERS THATS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING AT ALL PLEASE BE CAREFUL

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@themodmo Please don’t worry, I’ve been doing this for years. Over 70, in fact.

@themodmo | theo lesse  
@stevenrogers im literally crying i love you captain rogers thank you for protecting us

*@stevenrogers followed @themodmo

@themodmo | theo lesse  
OH MY GODD

@themodmo | theo lesse  
I MEAN OH MY GOSH .IM SORRY CAP

-

@bythlsea | slut farm ™  
@stevenrogers so when are you gonna fight captain canuck #realquestions #captain america #canada

@093028jj | fuck you.  
@stevenrogers go suck a dick #captainamerica is bullshit & your not even that built

-

@stevenrogers followed @sannalist and @spaceby9

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
My visit to @NASA was incredible! I feel 10 times smarter thanks to my amazing tourguides @sannalist and @spacebaby9!

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Thanks for showing me around & explaining the experiments & projects! Meeting so many smart people almost makes me want to go back to school.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
They really are doing incredible science over at @NASAGoddard Space Flight Center! Check out their web site here: nasa.gov


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a couple of emojis arent showing up in this but i give up trying to fix it honestly im sick of formatting hell

@huffingtonpost | Huffington Post  
Before joining the U.S. Army, Steve Rogers pursued a Visual Art degree for one year. See his surviving vintage art here: bit.ly/

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@huffingtonpost Well I guess that’s all out there now! 

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Would anybody be interested in newer artworks? I’ve been sketching and the other avengers are not art critics. @huffingtonpost  
*2893 Favourites

@iamironman | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers Hey, I own an extensive art collection, if anything I’m overqualified. #ironartcritic

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@iamironman So I called Pepper and she said you donated your entire collection years ago. Thank you for giving back.

@iamironman | Tony $tark  
@pepperpotts Traitor.

@pepperpotts | CEO of Stark Industries  
@iamironman You love me. Also, the truth is good for you.

\--

@goshdarn | aphex triplet  
@stevenrogers that’s so pretty omg i wish i could draw like you

@elewomentary | ‘’’’’murica  
@stevenrogers shit son i wanna piece of that (ur art i mean. well mostly. hhh)

\---

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
What an overwhelming response! Alright, I will be posting some of my recent art here from time to time.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
To start, I’ve been drawing the city a lot. It’s changed so much. pic.twitter/02939480/

@falconPUNCH | sam the man  
@stevenrogers dude you gotta clue me in on your hobbies like this??? you're really good, damn

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@falconpunch I'll draw you something to make up for it.

@falconPUNCH | sam the man  
@stevenrogers dude u don't gotta be making masterpieces to keep your friends around just like call me up some time yeah??

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@falconpunch I'll do that but I have an idea now so you're still getting a drawing.

@falconPUNCH | sam the man  
@stevenrogers this is an "oh no" moment isn't it

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@falconpunch Why yes it is, young one.

@falconPUNCH | sam the man  
@stevenrogers I am a grown ass man... #rude

\---

*@stevenrogers followed @nycpride, @capitalpridedc

@nycpride | New York City Pride  
@stevenrogers It’s an honor to be followed by such an influential American icon! Will you be attending New York Pride this year?

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@nycpride Thank you. I’m planning on attending, it sounds like an exciting event. I will see if the other Avengers would like to come.

-

@TMZ | TMZ  
HOT - Is Captain America Gay? These pictures with IRON MAN will shock you!!! tmz.me/098792

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@stevenrogers your fucking gay stop dragging our flag through the mud. you dont deserve to wear it !

\---

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
Drew this for my friend Sam @falconpunch pic.twitter/3724 I hope you like it, you'll be getting the physical copy later which is two feet wide.  
[Large detailed landscape of the Washington memorial done in pencil, watercolours]

@falconPUNCH | sam the man  
@Stevenrogers That better not be what I think it is

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@falconpunch pic.twitter/3940  
[close up of inscription on the back of the landscape reads "On Your Left (2015)"]

@falconPUNCH | sam the man  
@stevenrogers you are a ridiculous human being and i don't know why i stick around

@falconPUNCH | sam the man  
@stevenrogers i think i'd be more mad if i wasn't so impressed by the amount of work you put into that though. damn.

\---  
@somenerd | not ur babe  
caught captain america on the street today, so sweet! thank you for obliging sir! pic.twitter/098838 @stevenrogers  
[selfie of steve holding a rando with a huge grin in a crushing side hug]

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@somenerd Anytime, Miss. pic.twitter/67389  
[pic of steve giving a thumbs up very very close to his face and the camera]

-

@lordnoftime | sammy  
@stevenrogers *looks at ur arms* *splutters* nice *im fine*

@freshsocks | Alicia L  
@lordnoftime *glares at u* he’s mine, back off

@lordnoftime | sammy  
@freshsocks *grabs his BIG biceps* u back off, he’s mine

@freshsocks | Alicia L  
@lordnoftime ha ha, right! *pulls out my (better than urs) phone* *shows u contact Steve Rogers* see hes mine!

@lordnoftime | sammy  
@freshsocks *grabs ur phone* well see wich one of us owns/knows him now, bitch!! *puts it on speakerphone* @stevenrogers

@freshsocks | Alicia L  
@lordnoftime ... @stevenrogers SETTLE THIS

@lordnoftime | sammy  
@freshsocks @stevenrogers YEAH SETTLE THIS WE KNOW YOURE MINE

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@freshsocks @lordnoftime What.

-

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
A lot of people have approached me, both on Twitter and in person, about purchasing my art. It’s not for sale...

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
...But it is for auction! My friend @pepperpotts is hosting a charity auction in Stark Tower next month on my behalf.

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
I will personally be attending, barring another alien invasion. (A legitimate possibility. This century is a hoot!)

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
All proceeds will be donated to charity. More details to come - follow @pepperpotts too.

\---

@aviking | duncan amaraz  
@stevenrogers RAISE UR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | honey  
@stevenrogers do u seen the movies about u

@roryalex | undergraduate extraordinaire  
@stevenrogers Have you tried sushi yet??? Trying to end a bet #capontwitter #captainamerica

\---

*@stevenrogers followed @elonmusk, @spacex

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@stevenrogers am i not enough for you, baby?

@IAMIRONMAN | Tony $tark  
@elonmusk awesome work though man seriously. gonna change the world

@stevenrogers | Steven G. Rogers  
@iamironman Tony, what?

@dablackwidow | черная вдова  
@IAMIRONMAN @stevenrogers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that last nat tweet is supposed to being the tears of laughter emoji but it wont show up despite it being there in the preview .scream

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on [tumblr!](http://lumbercapt.tumblr.com)


End file.
